Right now I am having a really difficult time surrendering all my worries to the Lord and resting in His peace.
Floods of emotions, worries, and concerns have come over me in the past couple of days and I have been struggling to place them all at the feet of Jesus.
I want to trust God with every detail of my life. Yet, I worry about not having a job, and not having any money to pay for simple things. I forget often the ways God is providing for me: a place to live, food to eat, a car to drive (although no money for gas) and parents who are there for me.
I worry about how all the details of my future with Karsten will work out. Specifically things related to timing, money, job... I forget that God has all of this under His control. And even when I remember this, it is hard for me to be at peace. I think this is simply because of my sinful nature...
I realize that I am the type of person that likes to know the plan, the type of person that likes to be the one in charge of the plan, making things happen. This mindset and personality simply isn't conducive to walking with Christ. It is so hard to be broken in this area, but I want to be. I want to learn to surrender completely all my tendencies to plan, take charge, maintain control. I want to walk daily with my Lord, even if I don't know the next step. All He asks is for us to "Be still and know that I AM" This is so hard for me to do.
The other night I was talking with Mrs. Dixon and she said something that she reminds herself of often is this phrase: For His glory, and for my good. Everything that happens for these reasons. I do find some comfort and being reminded of this. At least when I am asking the question, "why?" I have my answer: For His glory, and for my good. I can trust in that promise.
Please pray for me in this area. Pray for me to daily surrender and trust God. Pray for God to mold me into a woman of confidence, patience and peace.
Meg,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to these feelings very well. I will be praying for you ... sometime soon you need to hear the stories of the few months leading up to my wedding ... and the few months leading up to our move to Va Beach. I think they will encourage you. It's easy for me to say "trust Him" - but I'm on the other side, and I know how hard trust comes when you're walking blindly, without the blueprint. Just know that John and I keep you and Karsten in our prayers and we love you both!
Lauren
I'll be praying for you Meg!!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean; you know God is in control, and all you have to do is trust Him, but just that simple task becomes such a great burden... I feel like I am on a similar boat.
I like this verse a lot, because I can remind myself, if something didn't happen, it wasn't supposed too, and vice versa:
Romans 8: 28-32
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?